Red Lobster Sucks (except for the biscuits)

At the risk of upsetting my only official follower of my new blog, Mr. USC96, who might I add, has his own deliciously funny blog about food, "Dude, Where's My Lunch",  I will continue to add food rants. 


The S.O.'s continuing pleas to visit a Red Lobster for the All-You-Can-Eat-Shrimp promotion finally wore me down, and I reluctantly pulled into the parking lot of the nearest location over the weekend.   Never before have I ever eaten at this chain, nor have I ever wanted to do so.   But I love my sweetie and I am willing to try anything once, particularly since he assured me the biscuits that come with the meal were fantastic.  This was an unfair tactic, considering he knows just how much I freaking love biscuits.  Bastard!


Generally speaking, I do not like chain restaurants for several reasons.  I find the food boring, too salty, too calorie ladened, and mostly, the necessity of producing it on such a massive scale makes the quality suffer.   A few exceptions to my rule are as follows: Wahoo's Fish Tacos, El Torito (yeah, that's right), Del Taco, In N Out Burger, Joe's Crab Shack, Lee's Sandwiches, Carl's Jr., Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and Pinkberry.   There are always exceptions when traveling and you just need to eat: Denny's, IHOP, whatever is by the freeway.  I have utilized many fast food joints while traveling to gigs over the years out of necessity.  Maybe I sound like a food snob?  I'm not really, I just want to experience the best quality and variety of food available.   Food is really much more than just sustenance.  I will let you ponder that.


As we waited for a table, I peered out the window, across the street,  longing staring at Lee's Sandwiches, wondering if once seated, I could excuse myself to the restroom, and secretly run across the street for a bite and a crack coffee (my nick name for the creamy french coffee they serve).   Once seated,  I ordered a glass of Sangia that turned out to be descent and for dinner, the lobster and shrimp pasta.  The S.O. had the All-You-Can-Eat-Shrimp in cajun and scampi and a beer.  Long story short, the S.O.'s shrimp were minisquel sized, and my pasta was waaaay too salty.  After the first bite, my mouth puckered to a small pin-sized opening.  The only savior of the meal was the light fluffly biscuits.   Oh, those biscuits were delicious, just as The S.O. had remembered when he used to go there as a kid.  He was sure right about them being great.  Moist on the inside, a pale yellow hue with butter, cheesy strands of goodness inside.  Ok, I admit I will willingly go back and try a different dish there if I can get my hands on some more biscuits. 

The most notable memory, besides the biscuits, is of the younger set crowd in their Sunday Best gansta' apparel that think they are experiencing fine dining.   It was rather amusing watching them play with the crab legs and lobster tails while a tattooed fellow with a full sleeve sipped on a fruity girly drink concoction.  Well, you have to start somewhere I guess.  I used to think Taco Bell was real Mexican food too when I was younger.